Mrs Elizabeth Darcy

Okay, I know you wrote this ages ago, and that's why I haven't posted on it, but I just couldn't resist, to tell the truth. You've got a great story ...

Uh, well, just one thing... 'This is good", The comma should be inside the quotation marks, and also you used one quote at the beginning and two at the end...? ...

Wow. For a new writer, I'm amazed. For any writer, actually, it was very good. The imagery is so compelling! I love how you used fire and ice and ashes ...

VERY nice contrast, I agree---one of the first things I noticed; thought it was well done! His skin now scared with malice scar r ed A well done presentation of ...

Well done! I like the "beams phosphorescent" and you've got a good sense of rhythm and rhyme. A couple things: "Shone" is the past tense of "shine." I don't think ...

I agree with every single praise that's been issued before me and only have one comment: "May I be of your assistance," said a voice in the wind. Try a ...

Just one thing for the moment...Could you rewrite the line that talks about budding pink capillaries? I know that's anatomically correct and that 'roses' is way cliched but...Well, let me ...

Just one thing I noticed....I think it's "one and the same" and not "one in the same..." Excellent writing. I agree completely. I love the stanza We hurt the same ...

This is really cute...I love how you translated it into a toy story. In some places, though, your rhythm was a little off. You might want to add a few ...

Wow. Wow. Wow!! I don't know what happened...but wow. I was really surprised. I didn't expect it to be so good. It's like... wow. I am going to make sure ...

As always your spelling and punctuation were a little off, but the idea and story is beautiful. I didn't scrutinize it, but I love how you said some one was ...

Oooooh, creeeeepy :) I think what you need to do is quit capitalizing after a quotation, and when you describe how some one said something, put a comma. Example: “Hannah, ...

Try "skinnier" rather than "more skinny" and work on your general punctuation and spelling as suggested. Otherwise, good!! You are descriptive, but not TOO descriptive, and you create a very ...

This story made me cry...I confess I only read it because I saw a trailor for the movie and thought it looked interesting, so I wanted to read the book ...

I rented Northanger Abbey from the library, and at first I thought Mr. Tilney was going to be like Willoughby or Wickham, because he was so pleasant. So I was ...